i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize