she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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