no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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