Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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