Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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