i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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