Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's never too late to be topless.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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