Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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