he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize