haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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