so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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