watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
they need to just BURY HIM!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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