are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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