I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize