I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize