Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
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I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
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Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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