I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
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max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
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bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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