good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my shit smells like andre
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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