..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I checked into jail on foursquare
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize