spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize