I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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