i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
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I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
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Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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