I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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