i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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