Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize