sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
When are your genitals available?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize