How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
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I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
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I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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