If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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