I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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