I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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