3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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