I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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