RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize