the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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