Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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