I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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