Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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