what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize