You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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