We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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