Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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