My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize