Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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