Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
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the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
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stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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