Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize