I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm passing your future prison.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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