Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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