i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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