This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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