I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize